Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I lost the right to judge tonight
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
