I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
