I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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