I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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