But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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