I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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