sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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