Kiss
Puke
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Everyone says I win the strip club
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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