I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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