Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
