She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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