wrigley field is MILF paradise
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
