How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
