just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
