its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
two words...techno handjob
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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