Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
