Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
