omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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