Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize