I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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