is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
