erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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