yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
