We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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