is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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