You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
