onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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