You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
