There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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