It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
