Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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