then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
