I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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