Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
