You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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