their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
