I'm so fucking centered right now
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize