brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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