...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
