My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
