i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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