I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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