we're chasing vodka with high fives
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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