I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
