I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize