Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
