i would punch a child for taco bell
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
