Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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