What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
