We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
