Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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