dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
