Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
