he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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