my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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