That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
