I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
