peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
