What did we do last night that was yellow?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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