he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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