Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
