every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
