you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
