So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
