My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I will be naked everywhere
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
