okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
